A Poet's Double Life

For poets working outside the literary world.


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Hotter Than July


When NOAA claimed that June 2023 was the hottest month record worldwide, July said Hold my fan! I don’t have to tell everyone how hot and humid it has been, even in Boston. I find myself sitting under two fans or right next to my portable Arctic Air machine while I work. Thank goodness I have a private outdoor deck to watch Venus start to shine under the waxing crescent of moon.

I’ve been traveling lately – Colorado, California, New York, Maine – and finishing up work projects due at the end of the month. I prefer to leave things in a good place before vacation, so that I am not overwhelmed upon my return. That includes stockpiling poetry books for The Sealey Challenge in August. It will be my third year reading a book a day and sharing a photo of the collection on social media. I’ve been squirreling away new poetry books that I’ve picked up at MassPoetry Festival and from Haymarket Books and used poetry collections from Brookline Booksmith and Brattle Bookshop.

Sealey Challenge 2023

So far I have:

  • Selected Poems by William Carlos Williams
  • Bastards of the Reagan Era by Reginald Dwayne Betts
  • Magnetic North by Linda Gregerson
  • I Remember Death By Its Proximity to What I Love by Mahogany L. Brown
  • Because You Were Mine by Brionne Janae
  • Smoking Lovely: The Remix by Willie Perdomo
  • 1919 by Eve Ewing
  • No Sweet Without Brine by Cynthia Manick
  • Alive at the End of the World by Saeed Jones
  • If They Come For Us by Fatimah Asghar
  • Lord Weary’s Castle * The Mills of the Kavanaughs by Robert Lowell
  • Shadow Act by Daniel Brock Johnson
  • The New Year of Yellow by Matthew Lippmann
  • Hum by Jamaal May
  • Claim Tickets for Stolen People by Quintin Collins
  • Tell Me, Tell Me: Granite, Steel, and Other Topics by Marianne Moore
  • Purgatory Road by Charles Coe
  • River Hymns by Tyree Daye
  • Above Ground by Clint Smith
  • Amaranth by Robert Carr (not pictured)

These collections will get me through the bulk of August. I hope to find a few more collections via the Minuteman Library Network, Boston Public Library, and MIT’s interlibrary loan. My bookshelves are stuffed to capacity already.


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It’s Been A Long Time, I Shouldn’t Have Left You


So….there was this thing called the pandemic, followed by giving up my apartment in Brookline, a job change, a temporary furnished place in Boston, and finally, a condo in Waltham. There was some poetry during that time–reading a book a day in August for the Sealey Challenge (two years in a row), poets from the Harlem Renaissance course I took in Fall 2021, poetry dates, and a poetry workshop through the Cambridge Center of Adult Education earlier this year.

If you’re a poet, then April is supercharged with poetry for National Poetry Month. This newish job, however, has a lot more traveling and my poetry activity had to wait until May. Fortunately, I had a panel accepted at the Mass Poetry Festival (May 5-7, 2023). It was the first in-person festival since 2018. Of course, the panel included a fabulous lineup of double-life poets:

Four double poets seated at a table. Robert Carr (poet & infectious disease specialist); Pamela Taylor (poet & higher education researcher); Cynthia Manick (poet & SCRUM master); and K.T. Landon (poet & software engineer).

Each poet took turns answering these questions:

  1. How do you describe what you do/did for a living to dinner party guests?
  2. How did poetry find you?
  3. How have people at work reacted to you being a poet?
  4. If you were to describe the relationship between your career and your poetry as a song, TV show, or movie title, what would it be and why?
  5. How do you stay connected to poetry?

We read 1-2 poems each and then opened up the floor to questions. My favorite question came from a woman whose day job was reading other people’s academic writing for a living and could only spare five minutes a day for poetry. We recommended subscribing to Poem-a-Day and listening to poetry podcasts such as The Slowdown.


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The Year Ahead


I typically do a “year in review” post, but after the year we all had I thought it was best to keep 2020 in our rearview mirror. Yes, for the first time, hindsight is truly 2020.

Pam on New Year’s Eve

For this year, I have picked roots as my OneWord365. I picked “flourish” as my word for 2019. I hemmed and hawed last year and wound up not settling on anything. I like that roots can be either a noun or a verb and in the plural form it has a musical reference meaning the origin of a style, and of course, a nod to the band, The Roots (click here for one of my favorite songs by this group). I’m open to seeing how this word will manifest itself in my life in 2021.

Also ahead…more writing and specifically, more submissions. I was super-excited when “To My Wasted Eggs” got published in JAMA: The Journal of the American Medical Association back in August. I dreamed about writing a poem that could get published there, even before I called myself a poet. The most surprising part of publishing in a non-literary journal was getting the reaction of non-poets. People who read the poem reached out to tell me that the poem resonated (or did not). It also has over 5,100 views. Whoa!

With the pandemic still limited indoor social interactions, I want to find another way to commune with my fellow writers. I definitely will continue my poetry Skype dates and will join my Boston poet friends once my Country Western line dancing class ends. I’m also looking for a submission buddy…someone to hold me accountable to actually sending poems out. Any takers?

Other things to look forward to this year…more Russian. I started learning the language last February and have taken two beginner classes. I tried Duolingo at first, but got bored because I wasn’t learning anything that I could use in a conversation. I mean, who is this Jenny and why is she always leaving her luggage on the subway? I moved on to the Pimsleur method that emphasizes language acquisition over reading and grammar. I quickly learned to talk about food, time, money, but learning a language based solely on how it is spoken meant I learned to say several words incorrectly. The classes helped..they are challenging and I learn a ton of vocabulary. I’m looking forward to level 2 beginner class and learning the six cases for nouns and the past tense. In the meantime, I’ve been practicing on BaBaDum.


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June 2020: Lucille Speaks


The Collected Poems of Lucille Clifton 1965-2010

The Collected Poems of Lucille Clifton 1965-2010

My last post was on the day before Memorial Day–the day before the world witnessed George Floyd’s murderbefore their eyes, the day before Christian Cooper posted his video of a white women pretending to be frightened as she called the police to say that a Black man was threatening her when he simply wanted to watch birds in peace, six days after the arrest of the man who shot the video of Ahmaud Arberybeing chased and killed by white men because he was #joggingwhileblack, and 12 days after Breonna Taylor was killed while in her bed whenthe police entered without warning and fired multiple shots into her apartment.

I had been posting poems I read before lunch and before dinner on Facebook and Instagram following the Italian poet’s Franco Arminio’s first of 10 recommended domestic decalogues—ways to spend our time during lockdown. The first poem I posted (3/21), Emily Dickinson’s “My life closed twice before its close“ is part of the anthology The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing edited by Kevin Young. I bought this book on March 7th—the last time I got my nails done before the last social gathering I attended before stay-at-home became a thing. Little did I know how much I was going to need this book three weeks later.

I posted my first Lucille Clifton poem on April 21st—“blessing the boats”—a poem featured in the Academy of American Poets’ selection of “Shelter in Poems.” Their selection of Clifton’s work prompted me to pull out my copy of The Collected Poems of Lucille Clifton 1965-2010, a 700+ page volume edited by Kevin Young and Michael S. Glaser. Her poems provided comfort during that month of isolation, and after recent events that reminded us that racism is alive and well in America, I found that her poems spoke all of the words we needed to hear and that anyone needed to say. So for the last 2+ months, I’ve let Mama Lucille speak.

BlessingtheBoats

blessing the boats by Lucille Clifton

Yesterday would have been Lucille Clifton’s 84th birthday. I had the honor of meeting her the year before she died at the Furious Flower Poetry Center. I posted the two poems she wrote about turning 70. I think it is only fitting to end this mark this mile of my stay-at-home marathon with her poem, The Last Day (p. 365):

we will find ourselves surrounded
by our kind          all of them now
wearing the eyes they had
only imagined possible
and they will reproach us
with those eyes
in a language more actual
than speech
asking why we allowed this
to happen          asking why
for the love of God
we did this to ourselves
and we will answer
in our feeble voices          because
because          because

 

~from The Collected Poems of Lucille Clifton 1965-2010 (BOA Editions Ltd, 2012) edited by Kevin Young and Michael S. Glaser.

 


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May Days 2020


May and April blended together—mostly because I spent so much time indoors. The weather has improved in the few weeks with more sunny days beckoning me outdoors. I’m not always able to carve out the 30ish minutes to walk around my neighborhood. My workload has picked up as we move into the summer and figure out fall plans.

Poetry has continued to happen in full force in a virtual world. This month I have:

Home-cooked meals have continued with shrimp and grits emerging as my favorite quarantine dish. I ordered my first takeout meal from one of my favorite places to write in my neighborhood. I was glad to be reminded of this place by the high school student newspaper, which has featured local businesses each week.

As my state begins to reopen, I’m looking forward to spending more time walking around town and seeing signs to life as we begin to emerge from our sheltered spaces. Every day feels like a staycation and yet we are “still doing business, just in a different way.”

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National Poetry Month 2020


I’ve spent the entire month of April “at home during a crisis trying to work.” Although it was definitely not the month I envisioned, I managed to stay as busy as I would have been in a typical National Poetry Month. Poetry quickly pivoted from in-person open mics to virtual live poetry readings and pre-recorded readings shown at a specified time and/or made available to watch on demand. I attended and participated in my fair share over these 30 days.

Seized by Wicked Enchantment: A Wanda Coleman Celebration (April 7). This virtual event celebrated the launch of a new selected volume of Coleman’s poetry edited by Terrance Hayes, and readings by Hayes, Mahogany L. Browne, Dorothea Lasky, Rachel McKibbens, Patricia Smith, and host Amber Tamblyn.

Living Poetry Open Mic of the Ether (April 9). My friends from Living Poetry hosted a virtual open mic where I was the featured reader. It was great to see and hear some of my Triangle area poets again.

Wednesday Night Poetry (April 22). This event has been held every Wednesday since 1989 and has moved to a pre-recorded format posted to their Facebook page during the pandemic. The Earth Day reading featured Naomi Shihab Nye, Jane Hirshfield, and current U.S. Poet Laureate, Joy Harjo.

Wellesley Books Reading (April 23). I participated in a poetry reading featuring Wellesley faculty that invited me to read with them last year, Lynne Viti (emerita) and Heather Bryant, as well as assistant professor of English, Tavi Gonzalez. This event was originally scheduled for in-person, but migrated to Zoom. The virtual format allowed members of my family to listen in.

In addition to these events, I continued in the tradition of posting photos of poems during National Poetry Month. This time, I posted my own published poems. I was very happy to have 30 published poems to share. I also read “won’t you celebrate with me” by Lucille Clifton for the Boston Athenaeum’s celebration of poetry.

On the double life front, I participated in a panel with our Posse II students and attended an online discussion of anti-Asian discrimination during COVID-19. The campus has adjusted to #thatZoomlife. I have 3-4 video conferences per day. Sitting in front of the camera for extended periods of time is exhausting and has made me rely on my reading glasses more.

Looking ahead to May, I anticipate a month pretty much like April—days spend indoors, evenings spent online. The sun and warmer weather will be welcomed companions on the next leg of this pandemic journey.


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Winter 2020 Recap


January 2020: Unlike the end of 2019, new year started off pretty somber. The lack of sun and warmth limit my energy. I didn’t dance much nor did I have a lot scheduled after work. I celebrated my fourth year on campus. I started in wintersession where there are less than 10% of students on campus, everyone is still in their festive post-holiday moods, and the dining facilities offer limited choices. I’ve always looked forward to the beginning of January as the time to catch a breath and regroup from the frenzied fall. This year was different—I didn’t schedule a weeks-long vacation and we had to start preparing for the board meeting as soon as we came back. Much of January is a blur, though I was able to attend a memorial service in LA, take another water aerobics class, take a short-story writing workshop, and begin to audit a poetry workshop on campus. The highlight of the month was the second Art Salon on the theme “Solitude.” This time I wrote a poem to accompany one photo presented by each photographer.

February 2020: I stocked up on brunches, lunches, and dinners this month–some homemade. My friend & I started our research to verify the list of best pancakes in Boston, starting with the soufflé pancakes at Bootleg Special. We shared a stack but they’re so airy that you can eat one by yourself and not feel full. I also revisited some places I had been before. On the poetry front, I was the featured poet at the Poetry Out Loud competition at Sacred Heart High School in Kingston where I visited an AP English class back in October. The winner of the this local competition placed 3rd overall in Massachusetts. I also attended a poetry workshop with Joan Naviyuk Kane through the Brookline Poetry Series. And on the 24th, I became an aunt again.

March 2020: March brought a double life of its own—before and after we started to stay home during a crisis trying to work. The month began with Super Tuesday—remember way back when? Colleges started to close their campuses and shift to a remote format. My college made the call on Thursday, March 12th in the middle of a class period. There were a lot of tears, but somehow, the students were able to regroup and organize their own graduation ceremony before they had to leave campus. This class entered college before the 2016 presidential election, so they’ve been tested already. I started working from home under the interim telecommuting policy at first, which then shifted to working from home for the “foreseeable future” after the governor ordered non-essential businesses to close and extended that order until May 4th.


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December 2019 Recap


Today reminds me of December 2019—inches of snow falling in thick flakes. The bulk of the Boston area’s snowfall fell in that month. Back then I thought these pre-winter storms  were a harbinger of a long season of “New England workouts,” i.e., cleaning off my car & digging out of parking spot. Thankfully, this winter was mild. Still it’s odd to see snow falling when we’re a month past spring.

Snow on budding trees in April

December in April

Week 1: December started on a Sunday. I tagged along with the faculty and students in a Women’s and Gender Studies class to see the movie, “Frozen II.” After the movie we stopped at a pupusa place in Framingham and then went back to campus for a discussion. Although the movie features strong female characters, there were subtle messages about women playing it safe & not taking risks as well as an obvious attempt by Disney to show indigenous people in a positive light that seemed to repackage the Pocahontas story for the next generation. The highlight of mid-week was the Celtics versus Miami game, my second of the season, where I got to see Jimmy Butler play. I’ve always liked him as a player, but started to follow him after he embarrassed his former teammates at practice a few days before he got traded. I love the NBA drama! The week ended with the President’s Holiday Open House packed with 100+ people and heavy hors d’oeuvres.

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Week 2: The double life was in full effect once again. Sunday was the Christmas Vespers program of music, readings, and carols that heralds the start of the holiday season. I’ve heard about this event since I arrived but never got around to going. Then I was invited to read the eighth and last lesson (see video starting at 1:02:22). I drew on all my growing-up years of performing in church plays and reading scriptures aloud in front of the congregation on Youth Sunday. It had been awhile since I had gone to a Christmas service. Oh how much I miss the music! The rest of the week I spent at a professional conference in Copley Square. I enjoying going to this conference because I get to ride the T like a normal person. Saturday, I capped off the week with a fantastic concert by the Brookline Symphony Orchestra, featuring Enigma Variations by Edward Elgar. Elgar composed each variation to reflect the personality & character of some of his friends.

Week 3: A busy, abbreviated week bookended by movies. On Sunday, I went to the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston to see the film “Say Amen, Somebody,” a documentary about two of the originators of gospel music Thomas Dorsey & Willie Mae Ford Smith. I also had lunch with some of my sistah-friends at the newest restaurant at the museum. Thursday was the opening day of the ninth Star Wars movie The Rise of Skywalker. I was fortunate to be invited by some tango friends to see a private screening with no previews. Unfortunately, I left my wallet at work, went back to campus get it, and arrived at AMC Boston Common a little late. Friday, I got up super early to catch the 6 AM Megabus from BOS to NYC & ran several errands with my mom when I got home Saturday morning, I packed up my mom’s car with family and gifts to head down to my brother’s house in Virginia. We also showed up fashionably late to my aunt’s 80th birthday party and got to see lots of people I haven’t seen since I left the south.

Week 4+: Like many of you, I spent the holidays with family and friends. We enjoyed five days in Virginia, the first time the bulk of the Taylors & Carringtons had been together since our trip to St. Maarten in 2017. For the first time we opened gifts on Christmas Eve to allow the NYC crew to drive back home on Christmas Day to avoid holiday traffic. The day after Christmas, I went to see the Nets versus Knicks game at the Barclays Center. It was my first time there. What a microcosm of NYC—with all the different languages and cuisines at the arena plus a DJ playing Biggie tunes. I wrapped up the year ringing in the New Year Russian style.

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November 2019 Recap


November rivaled October in its schedule. I took five flights, drove over 900 miles, had two executive coaching calls, saw two movies, presented at a professional conference, and went to my first Celtics game of the season. November stretched the double life to the point where there was an event or activity almost every day of the month.

November 2019 calendar on Nov 13th - Wizards at Celtics

November 2019

Week 1: November began on a Friday. I started that day with an executive coaching call and ended it with a flight from BOS to SJC to attend the wedding of a good friend’s daughter. By the time I drove from the San Jose airport to the hotel in Palo Alto, I had been awake for over 18 hours. I spent less than 36 hours on the ground and still managed to see a former student research assistant and a former colleague in addition to the attending the wedding reception. When I returned on Sunday evening, I went home for a quick bite to eat, and then, tossed my business suitcase in the car and drove down to Newport, RI. I spent the beginning of the week at the North East Association of Institutional Research (NEAIR) annual conference. I was a first-time attendee and presented in one of first panels on Monday morning. Needless to say, I was so relieved that all the logistics worked out. The rest of the week was pretty tame—aqua jogging class, dinner + music, and nails.

Week 2: This week as bookended by the poetry/personal life and the professional life. At the beginning of the week, I had brunch with a group of friends in Cambridge, took the T to meet a poet-friend at Boston Public Library to exchange work, and had dinner with another friend. I ended up visiting the same restaurant thrice–twice for dinner and once for after work drinks. Wednesday was the Wizards vs. Celtics, my first game of the season. The Celtics were on an eight-game winning streak having only lost the opener to the 76ers. This game was no different. Even at that stage in the season, the C’s had better chemistry with Kemba than with Kyrie (Sigh. I miss basketball). Friday evening and all-day Saturday, I participated as a member of a search committee for a high-level position on campus. Yes, you read that right. And I still managed to attend my favorite Boston-area milonga and a meetup event that weekend.

Week 3: Compared to the first two weeks of the month, this week was quite tame. I started off the week with brunch at the home of my good friends and their 2-year-old (Sigh. I miss brunch too). Monday was the Blacksmith House Poetry Series featuring a poet I met locally, Rage Hezekiah, and Jill McDonough. I had recently heard McDonough’s poem, “Cindy Comes to Hear Me Read” on an episode of The Slowdown (an excellent weekday poetry podcast from former PLOTUS Tracy K. Smith). It was the only week in November I had my Skype poetry date. I also had my second executive coaching call, which is part of the professional development program I’m participating in this academic year. The program features a small cohort of individuals who report to senior leadership. Although I know everyone in the group, I hadn’t had the opportunity to interact to this degree and understand the challenges they have been facing. When I first came to campus, all of the direct reports to senior staff met on a monthly basis, but that group dissolved. Participating in this program reminds me of how much I miss the opportunity to interact with my peers at work. The week ended with another type of loss—UCLA’s sixth loss of the season to our crosstown rivals, USC. The Bruins #BeatSC every year I attended UCLA, but of course, that was back in the 90s.

Two crew rowing on the Charles River from the Boston University Bridge

BU Bridge scene

Week 4: This week did not start with brunch. Instead, I went a writing retreat at GrubStreet sponsored by Boston Writers of Color. These monthly retreats provide space for writers of color to write and submit their work…kind of like Four Chairs and a Bench, but with 10 times as many people coming in and out during the day. I also managed to see the movie “Harriet” on the same day. The rest of capped off the week with a brief, but spectacular Thanksgiving trip to Durham. I saw ten different friends in 48 hours, including two Thanksgiving dinners, a Thanksgiving dessert, a Black Friday brunch, a pizza making party, and coffee at the RDU airport Starbucks before my flight back. Somewhere in there I had a really good slice sweet potato pie and saw the movie “Queen & Slim” with my movie buddy, Jim.


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October 2019 Recap


In my last post, I decided to recap each month between September 2019 and April 2020 with a separate post instead of summarizing everything in one post. October was the best month of 2019, which is why I didn’t want to distill everything down to a paragraph.

I did so much. Just look at this photo of October 21–24th on my calendar. And that’s only five days!

Calendar events Sun Oct 20 Financial District Walking Tour; Mon Oct 21 Aqua Jogging, Purple Rain Lecture & Movie; Tue Oct 22 Women Leaders Tango Class; Wed Oct 23 Eye Exam; Thu Oct 24 Women of Color in Academic Panel

Third week of October 2019

Week 1: October started off with a business trip to Lebanon to be part of an interim evaluation team for an accredited institution in Beirut. Everything about this trip was great—flying business class on Air France, the other members of my team, the hospitality of the host institution, the food, people, and history of Lebanon, and the rooftop pool at my hotel. The only downside of the trip was learning my limits with regard to dairy. Air France business class meals are curated by Michelin-starred chefs and feature yogurt-cheese-cheese-cream-butter-butter-butter-cheese-cheese + Chateauneuf de Pape. Since that trip, I’ve had to watch my dairy intake.

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Week 2: Started off with a college holiday and fall break, which gave me time to regroup from the jetlag of my Lebanon trip. Back then, I was also taking a tango class for experienced women leaders in Cambridge. I started leading in the summer with a couple that teaches at MIT. Being a leader, you have to manage multiple tasks at the same time—be aware of my axis, have an idea of what I want to do, be aware of my follower’s axis, understand the follower’s balance and skill level, communicate what I want the follower to do, lead that step, and then, react to the step the follower takes. All of this activity is happening while I am listening to and interpreting the music and navigating around other couples on the dance floor. And somewhere along the way, I want to make this a pleasurable experience for both of us. No wonder I’ve danced tango since November 2007 and I hadn’t seriously tried leading until 2019. The other highlight of the week was attending a lecture by Eve Ewing the scholar-poet-comic book writer-activist. I had bought her collection “Electric Arches” based on the cover photo, before I knew anything about her. It was great to hear about her research uncovering the effects of racism and inequality on Chicago Public Schools and get my book signed. I rounded out the week with brunch at what had become my favorite local spots and a planning meeting for the next Art Salon (more about the event when I get to January).

Slide from Eve Ewing lecture-50% schools closed by Chicago Public School; 90% of close schools were majority Black; 88% of students are African American; 1 in 4 schools with majority Black students and Black teachers were closed

Eve Ewing–Facts!

 

Week 3: I celebrated my three-year friend-iversary by going on a walking tour in the Financial District. I met my dear friend in October 2016 and were the only single people on a tour. I’ve been so grateful for her presence in my life, especially when I was working so hard preparing for accreditation. Another highlight of the week was seeing Purple Rain at Coolidge Corner Theatre. While it was great to relive Prince’s music & life, watching the movie at this age made me realize that movie is much better in nostalgia. But it was a great experience to see people of all ages, races, ethnicities, backgrounds, identities, and orientations celebrate an artist who meant so much to them. As the first photo of this post showed, I took an eye exam on October 23rd. I was fortunate to visit the optometrist who came to campus, a young woman with the loveliest Tennessee accent. I hadn’t been to the eye doctor since my Lasik surgery in 2009, and now, I’m at the age where I need to use reading glasses (+1.00 for now). In fact, I stopped writing this post to find my reading glasses because I need to wear them if I’m working in front of a screen a lot. I rounded out the week by participating in a Women of Color in Academia Panel on campus followed by drinks with a co-worker, my aqua jogging deep-water aerobics class, and tea with my accreditation work-husband at Athan’s Bakery.

Week 4: Definitely a double-life week. Sunday was another edition of Four Chairs & a Bench, and then, I headed to Kingston to catch up with a college friend. She invited me to to talk poetry with her AP English class. The class was reading Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s “Sonnets From the Portuguese,” which I had on my bookshelf. It was great to chat with the class about their lives, their interests, and the next step of their journeys. I took the commuter rail back to South Station, my first time riding the commuter rail in the Boston metro area. So happy that I had the app to purchase the ticket back to the city. I drove to campus in time to briefly meet with a job candidate. The week and month ended with the MLK Memorial Lecture featuring Jabari Asim the author-poet-playwright-writing professor. I couldn’t stay for the whole event, but what I managed to hear was inspiring and necessary. Some quotes:

  • Some of us didn’t have many books, but we had plenty of stories.
  • Participating in the process of literary creation is always done with our ancestors looking over our shoulders.
  • For those first Black writers, each letter they made into parchment was a nail in slavery’s coffin.
  • Sometimes we strut to reassure ourselves we belong.

Jabari Asim at a lecturn

Jabari Asim MLK Lecture